thelawofdharma

Training Log – Fine Line between Being Determined and Being Dense

Monday: SICK DAY

Tuesday: SICK DAY

Wednesday: Weight Training – Biceps/Triceps/Legs/Shoulders/Abs, 5 km run

Thursday: “MUSHIN” with Wayne, Fight Fit – Training with Terence, 5 km run, Abs

Friday: 5 km run, Abs

Saturday: 5 km run, Abs

Sunday: 5 km run, Abs

This week was another tough one for me physically. My cold/flu knocked me down at the beginning of the week; so much so that I was unable to work out on both Monday and Tuesday. I managed to rally back on Wednesday and get back to the gym; however, my workouts have been of a lesser standard than I have recently become accustomed.

After two months, I found myself back in Bonbon on Friday to head back home to Ottawa for a visit. Despite being beat from a sleepless night on Thursday that was followed up with a long 7 hour drive to Ottawa; I was “determined” to not lose a workout day. So, at 8:30 pm I hopped on my mom’s treadmill with the intention to crank out a 5km before settling down to relax for the evening.

Very quickly I realized that my goal was going to have to be adjusted when I found myself gripping the sidebars of the treadmill as spells of dizziness started to wash over me. Determination is one thing, being dense is something else altogether; I realized I was finding myself on the dense side of the pendulum.

In the end, I stayed on and ran, but I slowed down and as Cat would say, “Calmed the fuck down.” I know this is a small example, but it managed to have a lasting impression on me. Some days, just getting it done, is success enough.

Other than this new-found knowledge, I have also “acquired” a Smeagol/Gollum-like cough. This is far from a good acquisition and I’m hoping that it’s one that will exit stage left when my cold makes its final curtain call.

My Cough (aka Gollum, Gollum)

Observation – If I’m at a dance bar to celebrate my 40^th Birthday…

…drag me off the dance floor, smash my head on the side of the bar, kick me to the road and instruct a cabbie to drive over me.

Last night, Stephanie (aka Monkey) and I went out to celebrate my 39th birthday. It’s a bit early (my birthday is in April), but I’ll be back in St. Catharines when it comes around.

The title above might give the impression that Steph and I didn’t have a great time which isn’t the case at all. We started the night by having sharpeners and getting ready at a hotel in the market before heading to the Velvet Room.

Monkey

me

Us: out first attempt at a shot together

Us: our second attempt

Us: our last and final attempt

To be honest, Steph and I could have a good time just about anywhere. Last night, I had a good time despite:

-the scantily clad cougars and pumas (aka cougars-in-training) who pushed and shoved as they jockeyed to get a good and highly visible spot on the dance floor (please note: my amateur fight came very close to happening last night)

and

-the hunters (aka drunked-up, horned-up and seemingly newly single men in their 20s, 30s and 40s) who insisted on circling in on the teeming cougars and pumas

For the most part, my MO is to numb myself to the social dynamics of the Velvet Room, but last night I managed to drink myself sober. I hate when that happens! And while Steph and I laughed, danced and managed to buffer ourselves to the assault of a couple of brave hunters, I definitely tired of the scene last night. Near the end of the night I even resorted to performing “the robot” in order to convince Steph (and the guy who insisted on twirling me) that it was time for me to go home.

So, next year, if you see me at the Velvet Room in the month of April, you have my permission to do your worse or, at the very least, what I described above.

Training Log – New Things and Making Good Choices

Monday:  Fight Fit – Training with Terence

Tuesday:  Fight Fit – Training with Terence, “MUSHIN”

Wednesday: 10 km run, Abs

Thursday:  Fight Fit – Training with Terence, 5 km run, Abs

Friday:  Fight Fit – Training with Terence

Saturday: SICK DAY

Sunday:  SICK DAY

This week is best characterized as one that saw a layer of newness added to my workout life. First, there was the arrival of my new gloves. After close to nine years with my “Big Bad” Boes, I finally resigned to the fact that stuffing flying out them as I worked either the mitts or the bag wasn’t a good thing. Gone were the days that I could tell myself that my sheer power was beating the stuffing out of them. So, with sadness, I retired my BBBs and welcomed my new boys, my Everlast gloves. I still haven’t named them, so if you have any suggestions, I’m all ears.

Respect for the BBBs

MUSHIN, a Japanese term that means “no mind”, is what I’m calling another workout component that was added this week. Once a week I will be put through a very intense hour of sport-specific training with Wayne Wells. Wayne, a trainer, former boxer and martial artist, works out of Fight Fit a couple of days a week. With Wayne, I hope to stop thinking, start breathing and develop a rock solid core that will be power my punches.

MUSHIN

For the first time, I’ve started to train while wearing real boxing boots. Lacing up my new boots makes me incredibly happy and proud. Mind you, it takes me a good ten minutes, but still, once those bad boys are on, I feel like it’s coming together. Who would have guessed that something as simple and basic as boxing boots would have such an impact on me?

My new gloves and boots

This week Terence’s put up a speed bag and I worked on it until my shoulders felt that they would burst into flames. I have a long, long, long way to go. So much so, that both Terence and Wayne would break down, momentarily leave their clients, and try to help me “get” it. At one point, Terence uttered, “You’re driving me fucking crazy. Get the rhythm and hit that fucking thing!”

Hit that fucking thing

Like last week, my cold stayed in my back pocket for the duration of the week and refused to move on. Unlike last week, I made better decisions about how to deal with this nuisance. I finally started listening to my body, started taking my vitamins and letting go of the idea that I have to work out each day. This weekend I decided to take off, even though I would normally dictate otherwise. I got out of the mind, realized that I couldn’t breathe and that there would be no core strength gained from workouts that are fuelled by stubbornness.

These boots are made for...

Observations – Beauty    

Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks.

My Dad’s loyalty – he lifts Tex into the van so that they can go together to pick my mom up at the bus stop. This is quite the feat given my Dad’s limited physical strength and Tex’s heft and girth.

Wayne’s respect for others – he leans forward to quietly and respectfully tell me to squeeze my gluts as I squat so as to not embarrass me in front of the male dominated gym.

A young teenage girl’s bravery – she belts out “I’m Big, Blond and Beautiful” while performing in Ridley College’s interpretation of the musical Hairspray and smiles shyly when the audience thanks her with a hearty and well-deserved round of applause.

Chris’ love for his girls – as he talks about the benefits of Smashbox make-up and explains the situation in Bahrain, his daily investment in connecting with his girls comes to life.

Bronwyn’s quite and contained eagerness – she sits with wet hair and waits to hop in a cab to go with her best of best friends to spend an afternoon of freedom.

My Mom’s nurturing –each morning she sends me an email to welcome me to the day; an email that often sets the tone for the seconds, minutes and hours that will fill it.

Hannah’s caring – she’s always there for others to listen, to support and hold a hand if needed.

Gail’s love for her family – in a conversation with friends she describes being with them as being “home”.

Terence’s drive and ambition – each day of each week, he works hard to build his company; one that he is and should be proud of.

Brinkley Boy’s playfulness – he wants nothing more to romp, roll and play with you and/or your socks.

Alex’s determination – she fearlessly runs her restaurant so that she can offer healthy and delicious choices to her community.

Training Log – Lacklustre

Monday:   Fight Fit – Training with Terence

Tuesday:  Fight Fit – Training with Terence, 5 km run

Wednesday: Weight Training – Chest/Back/Abs, 10 km run

Thursday:  SICK DAY

Friday:  Fight Fit – Training with Terence, Weight Training – Biceps/Triceps/Abs, 5km run

Saturday: DAY OFF

Sunday:  DAY OFF

So, as you can see, this past week wasn’t strong. The onset of a cold, and battling the “February Blues”, resulted in a week that was lacklustre at best.

Gail and Chris teased me on Thursday when I called in “sick” and taunts like “man cold” where tossed around. Chris also went on to say that he wasn’t surprised that BIG Government (that’s me by the way, it’s one of his many nicknames for me) called in sick. Afterall, I was a government employee and I needed to have at least one sick day a month. Thank God for teasing, it makes me howl, keeps me light and is one of the main ways my family and I communicate.

Observations – Time to Change Gears

Not only was the week a tough one physically, it was a tough one mentally. Given all of that, I decided to take the weekend off and go to Toronto to see an old friend. In the end, it was the best decision I made all week. A change of scene, and reconnecting with someone with whom I had spent a lot of time with when I was young and innocent, was just what the doctor ordered.

Art Gallery of Ontario - this room is my new favorite space

Now I’m rejuvenated and ready for the week ahead. And you know what; it’s going to be stellar. The reason I know this is because I’m determined to make healthy and positive choices.

I almost cried. Thankfully, when I was about to spill over, I was able to breathe deep and push back the fear-filled-tears. “Thankfully” –it’s interesting that I choose this word. Would it have been that bad if I had cried? Maybe it would have helped to let out the fear that had been building inside me all day? But no, I made a choice; one that involved me not going there. Where’s “there” exactly? To be honest, while I initially dodged the destination, I think I’m sitting in the “there” right here and now.

It’s close to two months into this thing and I feel no further ahead. The key word here is “ahead”.

Using boxing as my vehicle, my hope is to find my dharma; I hope the journey from public servant to amateur fighter will result in a multitude of personal transformations.

Without a doubt, I have successfully built a rock solid machine for the year: I’ve slowly been working on me and have been able to come through the tipping point stronger and ready to take those final steps to have a life that is lived intentionally; I’ve a great home environment; I’ve been gifted with supportive family and friends, and I’ve surrounded myself with professionals who are willing and able to help me get into the ring.

There’s a problem though; I can’t seem to get this machine to move. It’s almost like I’ve taken a broken down old shitty car, rebuilt it and now love it so dearly that I’m hesitant to take it out for a ride. I worry that once I get out there, something is bound to happen. When it does, this thing of beauty, this thing that I’ve painstakingly rebuilt, just won’t be the same, it’ll be damaged again.

So here I am, stalled.

While I’m at it, there could be yet another problem all together. It could be that when I’m out there, finally moving forward, I realize that I never really liked cars. All this time, I should have been rebuilding a crappy boat. I realize that I’ve rebuilt the wrong thing and that my journey should be on water and not asphalt.

Now, I’m not stalled, I’m completely and utterly fucked.

I should have cried. If I had, I would have gone “there” with my heart. Instead, I am “there” with my mind.

In my experience, the heart is always kinder than and not as harsh as the mind.